wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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