I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
