I skipped work to stalk him.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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