saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
