Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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