so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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