I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
