i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
