Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
