windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
