i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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