Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
