yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
