my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
