Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
