I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
