So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Randomize
