You just made me feel so damn special
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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