fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
