when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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