They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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