Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
