I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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