So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This girl is more easily done than said...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
