I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
