Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
