I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
