i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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