No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
