ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
