He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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