How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
