Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
