4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
