I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
