he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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