She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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