So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
