Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
