didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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