im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
