Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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