Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize