Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
