Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
