I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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