Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
