i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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