dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
