I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
