Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
