Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
