My liver just broke up with me...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize