capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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