Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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