I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
