i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize