My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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