lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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