Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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