I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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