you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
