Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
