he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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