I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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