tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
