Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
