what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
